


No Less

by mayachain



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Backstory, M/M, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-22
Updated: 2009-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-05 18:39:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayachain/pseuds/mayachain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time David catches Johnny kissing another boy, it takes him a second to realize that this is what they're actually <i>doing</i> in John's room with the door open: kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Less

**Author's Note:**

> The first story I wrote in this fandom. Beta-credits belong to **cat_latin**.

  


* * *

  
I.

17/19

The first time David catches Johnny kissing another boy, it takes him a second to realize that this is what they're actually _doing_ in John's room with the door open: kiss. He just barely stops short from calling out to them, frozen by this unnatural display before his disbelieving eyes.

There's something in the guy's posture, a certain cockiness that immediately tells David _football player_, something shifting underneath a white t-shirt that speaks of _muscles_, and that's all David sees before it really hits him that this is his little brother with another boy's lips pressed against his.

Johnny's hands are clutching at the guy's shoulders, a desperation David's never seen before in the way he attempts to crawl into the other boy's skin. From the self-assured way football guy is holding him, they've done this before; he is touching Johnny as if it's his prerogative.

John is making a tiny, pleased sound as football guy greedily works his fingers into his hair, and words cannot describe the aversion David feels as he turns to leave, his mind swirling with one single thought, _no, not this, not this_.

He never tries to learn the boy's name; they never even know he was there.

In the weeks that follow, neither John nor Dad nor Martha the maid have any idea what has suddenly made David disapprove of everything Johnny does. The Sheppard brothers are good at hiding, John and David both. Except maybe Johnny suspects, because there's this one incident where John corners David and hisses _I expected more from you_, as if David's the one who did something wrong. He doesn't shout, just forces the words out quietly enough that Dad doesn't hear, and is gone before David can think of a comeback.

*

David thinks that if it didn't start earlier, it definitely started then - John against David, against Patrick Sheppard, against the world, becoming his own crusade's lone soldier without ever giving David or Dad a chance to defend themselves.

  
II.

26/28

The evening Dad puts down the phone and looks at David to say _John wants to introduce us to his lady friend_, David reaches into the not-so secret cabinet to pour the two of them a glass of Scotch, feeling weak with relief.

And he likes Nancy, likes her firm handshake and modest dress and the way she speaks about John's career as something entirely worth leaving the family business to be carried on by one brother alone.

Suddenly, Dad and John are talking easier, and David sits in business meetings still full from Sunday night dinner and marvels at how uncomplicated his life is.

And if he sees something hesitant in the way John is cupping his fiancée's face, fingers faltering every time she breaks an embrace -- If he walks in on her standing on her tiptoes to press a lingering kiss against John's cheek, looking at John as if he's the perfect stepping stone to all her dreams -- If there's a tiny moment where David's heart clenches, and he thinks _no, not this_, he immediately forgets it in face of his brother's happiness.

John's smile lights up the chapel as he stands, dashing in his dress blues, waiting for her, rows filled with fellow soldiers and both their family's friends. When a pilot friend passes John the ring to put on Nancy's finger, David's own eyes are bright, and Patrick Sheppard's face glows.

*

David sometimes thinks he could have prevented the rift, if he'd said something then. It might not have helped the relationship between John and their father, but John would never have ignored all David's calls, his last words for several years _You knew this would happen_.

  
III.

43/45

When John attempts to introduce David to the civilian contractor he's brought with him this time, the man in question disregards both John and David completely in favor of his phone. David's ears are soon ringing with English? English! words he can't comprehend, and a series of insults he _can_, as well as a few in what sounds like broken Russian, or maybe Czech.

There's an undignified squeak and a flicker of uncertainty in the man's eyes, discrepant to the tirade precluding it, as John's hand lunges forward and forcibly ends the call.

The handshake that follows is perfunctory and insultingly abbreviated, and David wishes fervently that John had come alone.

The man is nothing like the sleazy hunks David has pictured Johnny with over the years. He is nothing like the tall and dark figure he has resigned himself to think of as John's boyfriend. When he catches the two of them kissing, it is nothing like he would have expected.

There's a hand cradling his brother's head, the touch of thick fingertips soft around the fabric of John's shirt, possessive, protective. The crinkles around John's closed eyes are smiling, his face young and more open than David has ever seen it.

Rodney McKay's lips are still moving, no sound coming from them now, but clearly still talking. His body is turned toward John as if he expects John to take his weight, feet squared apart as if he'd take all of John's weight and then some if John should fall.

David's eyes are caught by the way John's hands are just splayed against the broad shoulders, confident that Rodney won't disappear if he doesn't hold on.

They are leaning against each other in the guest room of John's father's house, breathing each other's breath, oblivious to the world.

David returns to his study and thinks: _Yes. Yes, this._

* * *

* * *

  



End file.
